Wigs

I found the wig that I want. I just need to figure out the color and set up a pay pal account that I can pay into without using a credit card or bank account.

Here it is.




Not bad at all. There are a couple of CD'ers who comment in the customer review section and they seem to like it.

There's also this one.



I also read through a website about applying makeup. Carmindy from What Not to Wear. She had a lot of great tips for basic make-up application. And as I was looking at her, I think that her style and look is what I'm after. She's just plain HOT.


She also had a couple of great tips for eyebrow shaping and plucking. My eyebrows are fairly heavy. Not like an Italian or anything, but definitely male looking. But she says that eyebrow style is favoring the fuller eyebrows now. Just keep them clean and neat but let them grow.


Damn I can't believe I'm actually trying to do this. But I really think I will.

A rather successful tuck

I re-read the "Art of Tucking" thread on crossdressers.com and might have had a good realization. The first couple of times I read the tucking instructions I couldn't follow it at all. But now that I have tried several methods of tucking, the instructions made much more sense. I still have the same problems as before, i.e. big bumps were my balls are pushed up under the skin. However, the rest of the tuck is pretty amazing. I'm wearing a thong right now and I know from the back and from underneath it is flawless. Pretty cool. I can't even feel my penis due to the tuck. When I feel down there it's just void.

Now what I think I need is something or someway to cover my front a bit so the bumps aren't as noticable. This will be hard to do. From the front, the bulge looks like a full on package although it is fairly smooth looking. When I'm seated and look down my pants everything looks really nice. When I go out of town in a couple of weeks, I'm going to take some time and really work on my tucking method.

Pictures

It is time for some new pictures and another big round of dress up. I motored through my clothing money last month so I've been on a shopping hiatus. But the next month is here and I can shop again. Definitely some new underwear, since I mostly underdress anyway. But it might be time for some pants, a top and some flats.

I don't know. I think I need to start thinking about a wig and make-up. I have a trip at the end of April. So I should be able to do some dressing then. I thought I was going to get some time to myself at the beginning of April but that fell through.

Well, at any rate, I'm ready to get pretty again and I think I might start working on my face.

What's in a name?

Well, I think I've decided on a name for my inner woman. I think her name is/will be Kayleigh. There are a couple of different reasons for this. But mostly it's because there's this really hot chick named Kayleigh that I think looks a bit like me anyway. Or rather, we have similarities. She's much hotter than I think I'll ever be able to pull off.

So there it is.

Kayleigh (aka Frisbee Girl)

Making plans

I have been talking with my wife and there are several trips that we both will be taking separately. Many of these trips will also be without our daughter. So I will have several days by myself to dress however I'd like for as long as I like. I'm kind of excited about it. The trips are a few months off and so I think I'll have some time to get some new items. Here's my wish list in no apparent order.

• Dress AND/OR pants with a top.
• Shoes - heels preferably, but maybe just a kitten heel. I'm already 6 feet tall, I don't need to be Amazonian.
• Nail supplies - emory board, color or French manicure, polish remover.
  
• Make-up - foundation, blush, lip stick/gloss plus liner, eye liner and shadow.
  
• Night-gown or other sleeping clothes.
• wig

I don't think I'll be able to pull off getting all of this stuff. There's a trip at the end of July that they will be taking for a full week and so I might be able to get this stuff by then. But most of those bullet points will cost about $50 each. $300 is some serious cake. Especially considering it's for secret use.

Essentially, I am beginning to think about going out in public. In the one time I dressed up as much as I can, it was a lot of fun, particularly walking in front of the open windows. I've got the body for it and felt very feminine while walking around. Quite a little rush. The other good thing is that in a flowy dress, the difficulties I have with tucking are not so apparent. So, I think that with some practice I could get the make-up looking pretty good. Get an attractive, but not too flashy, outfit (pants/jeans and a basic top). Slap on a wig and go for a walk about. I think I have a decent sense whether or not I'd pass or not. On Crossdressers.com it's easy to see that there are some tell-tell signs of a dude. But there are also some amazing transformations. Guys that definitely pass as a woman. And as I've been noticing people more, I look for the more masculine looking women and try to pin-point what it is about them that makes them still look like a woman. I can look at these people and see them as a guy, but there is still something that makes them feminine. But I think this might be a trick my brain is playing on me.

At any rate, based on how well I think I could pass, I'll decide where I'd like to try it out. If I pass great, then I'll go out during the day for sure. To the mall or grocery store. Might even go out to eat. If I barely pass, then most that will happen is that I might walk down the side walk at the outdoor shopping center at dusk or night. Or go get some gas in the car. Little anonymous trips like that.

There are many times that women look more manly. One is when they are working out. Extreme endurance athletes look very manly when they are exercising. So I've also thought about buying some workout clothes and going for a run. I've also thought about working out in the hotel weight room. The good part about workingout would be that I could probably get by with wearing a hat and buying just a pony-tail wig that would stick out the back. This could also work to hide my face a bit. the problem I see with this is that my veins BULGE when I workout or go for a run. I've definitely never seen a woman with veins like mine. Manly for sure.

It's definitely fun to think about.

New underdressings

So yesterday I found I had a little extra time. So I hurried off to a Nordstrom Rack. I was a little disappointed in selection of underwear. I was expecting to grab a pack of thongs and a kind of booty-short/thong that I've seen a friend wear before. But their selection was only so-so. Also, the store was packed. I don't mind buying women's underwear or clothes, but I have a limited tolerance for really searching through all of the racks. It's pretty easy to be a guy looking for a thong if you're shopping for your wife. But after searching for too long, it seems like it's just weird. I get a lot more looks looking for underwear than I do if I'm shopping for a dress shirt.

At any rate, I came away with a new thong, which turned out to be a bit too large (bought a medium but evidently need a small). And a pair of hip hugger booty-shorts. I was thinking this last pair would be a bit more high cut. Instead it just looks more like a 1970's era bikini bottom. Ultimately not complaining because they feel great to wear (wearing them now), but just a tad pissed because they weren't exactly what I was looking for. I guess it's all part of the process.

Am I gay?

Short answer: No

Long answer: I have no romantic or love attraction to any other guy I have ever met. I've never thought about a specific guy in a sexual way.

That being said, I have thought about dressing up and going out and picking up a guy. Actually the picking up part is really just a conversation and then taking him in to the bathroom or something and giving him a blow job. I've actually thought about that quite a bit. I know guys are almost always up for a blow job and so, assuming I could dress and pass as an attractive woman, then I'm pretty sure I could convince a guy to let me blow him.

I've also thought about dressing up with my wife and the two of us going out and picking up a couple of guys. I kind of have this thing about being cuckolded. So I'd watch (as a female) while the other two guys fucked my wife, and then I could finish them off. This gets more in to my fetishes though.

So thinking about all of that, I still am not gay. However, I guess I clearly have a homosexual interest. That is, I have homosexual fantasies. But I consider someone to be homosexual as someone who not only has sex with the same sex but also seeks a relationship, i.e. love, with them.

It's a semantic issue. But I stand by it.